Thank You Both Mother Mary and the Goddess of Mercy

Indonesia 🇮🇩

I grew up in a multi-religion culture. My parents were Buddhist. We lived together with my paternal Grandma, who was a devout Protestant. Meanwhile, I went to Catholic schools all my life until I was 18. I spent my childhood going to the temple, lighting incense to Chinese deities as well as going to Sunday School at my Grandma's church. I loved to join choir, so I would also perform at my Catholic school's Sunday Mass from time to time. Meanwhile, as Indonesia is the biggest Moslem's country, I am surrounded by Moslem culture and friends.

In Indonesia, especially for Chinese Indonesian families, these experiences are quite common. When one day I decided to be baptized as a Catholic, there was no resistance from my family. I still could perform my filial duties by worhipping the ancestors and occassionally (though very rarely) accompanied my Grandma to her Protestant Church. 

However, harmony was disrupted when I turned 30. I left my stable job as a journalist in China, and started to pursue my documentary filmmaking more seriously. I did not have any prospective husband in sight. When my film project could not find any funding, I got a job offer to work in East Timor. I was asked to be the Director for a non-profit production house in East Timor who was under the Jesuit mission in East Timor. 

My Mom saw this opportunity as a further distraction to her mission to marry me. In addition, I would move from the fastest growing Asian country to the slowest growing one. She grew anxious about this decision. So she went to the temple, picked up the jiaobei and started to pray to the Goddess of Mercy. Jiaobei are two pieces of wood that you can use to ask a yes or no question from deities. She asked, "Is it good for Amelia to go to East Timor?" She threw the jiaobei on the floor. One piece of jiaobei is opened, one piece is closed. The Goddess said yes. Not satisfied, my Mom asked the Goddess again, "Is Timor Leste a better option for Amelia?" Again, the Goddess said yes. Still not satisfied, my mother asked again, "Will Amelia find a husband somehow?" This time both jiaobei pieces were opened. The Goddess was laughing at her question.

My Mum went home with a lot of peace. She told me what happened at the temple and she let me go to East Timor with a lot more confidence. 

In 2009, East Timor had only celebrated 7 years independence from Indonesian occupation. My team members experienced civil war and its horror. They were involved as spies, they lost their families, and they saw firsthand what Indonesian military and militias did. On the other hand, they had such a huge ability to forgive and to move forward. They accepted me and I accepted them. However, things were not always rosy. Many skills and capacities were not immediately in place for a production house to run. I had to ask them many many difficult tasks everyday. I had required a lot of things to change. This was not easy. Change was not easy.

Nothing had prepared me for the job. Nobody in my life told me before that I was a changemaker. I did not know that I could run an organization. Nobody told me how. I completely surrendered to the Greater Power that is both beyond me but also inside me. Even when things went really bad, it was not hard to find this place and said, "I have done all I could, You decide what happens." And many magical things did happened.  

Until now, I still thank the Goddess of Mercy and Mother Mary to have conspired to bring me to East Timor.